When I was a little girl and my dad took me fishing, the first thing we had to do was to "bait the minnie trap" and wait for the schools of tiny little fishies to fill up the metal basket. Sometimes, if the water was clear and the minnows were plentiful I'd sit on a rock nearby and watch them swim into the trap and nibble at the bait. I thought it was interesting to observe them eating. They'd sort of grab a miniscule bite and then scurry off to go bump into a dozen of their brothers and then come back and grab another bite. They never seemed to get full, and they never seemed to particularly want to go anywhere else. They just bumped aimlessly about from here to there inside the basket, grabbing a bite whenever it occurred to them to do so.
I've met quite a few men like that as I've scanned the shallows and cast my bait into the water. The approach is usually a variation of, "Hi! I like your profile" followed by a smattering of emails and perhaps a phone call or two. Often, the man has no idea where he wants to go. He just wants to take a bite and flit away. He may want to talk until he gets a response, then he loses interest. I think it might be sort of a dating ADD or something.
Jeremie was one such a nibbler. He said hello, we chatted back and forth for a few days, then .... nothing. As far as I know, there was no sudden revelation that repulsed him. He just stopped writing. Robert was pretty much the same way. Then there was Doug. He lived nearby and I thought after a few conversations he might want to go for coffee with me. But we talked on the phone and when I didn't readily respond to his casual comment that he found phone sex "pretty hot" I never heard from him again. Another little bite and then off he went. There have been others too numerous to mention, and since they've all got basically the same M.O. it would be way too redundant to relate all the conversations here.
I wonder, have I missed something in the Internet Dating Etiquette Book? Is it okay to say hello, strike up a conversation with someone, and then after a couple of days just disappear? I was always taught that you say goodbye when you end a conversation, or at the very least offer an explanation as to why you feel you'd like to go down a different path.
I like closure. Whether I agree or disagree with the person I feel that it's just plain decent to say something to wrap things up! What would it hurt to say, "I've enjoyed talking to you but I don't feel we have enough in common to continue. I wish you the best?" Or something. Or ANYTHING!
I have to remember, though, that many fish have very small brains. They can't focus very long and are unable to function on a level much higher than those little minnows I watched so long ago. I guess I need to lower my expectations.
One other thing Dad taught me, however. Fishing takes patience and it takes diligence. And if you've got the essential tenacity you'll eventually end up with a primo catch! I still believe that the best one is out there somewhere and I plan on keeping my line wet and my net handy!
Until next time...
Love,
Angie
I've met quite a few men like that as I've scanned the shallows and cast my bait into the water. The approach is usually a variation of, "Hi! I like your profile" followed by a smattering of emails and perhaps a phone call or two. Often, the man has no idea where he wants to go. He just wants to take a bite and flit away. He may want to talk until he gets a response, then he loses interest. I think it might be sort of a dating ADD or something.
Jeremie was one such a nibbler. He said hello, we chatted back and forth for a few days, then .... nothing. As far as I know, there was no sudden revelation that repulsed him. He just stopped writing. Robert was pretty much the same way. Then there was Doug. He lived nearby and I thought after a few conversations he might want to go for coffee with me. But we talked on the phone and when I didn't readily respond to his casual comment that he found phone sex "pretty hot" I never heard from him again. Another little bite and then off he went. There have been others too numerous to mention, and since they've all got basically the same M.O. it would be way too redundant to relate all the conversations here.
I wonder, have I missed something in the Internet Dating Etiquette Book? Is it okay to say hello, strike up a conversation with someone, and then after a couple of days just disappear? I was always taught that you say goodbye when you end a conversation, or at the very least offer an explanation as to why you feel you'd like to go down a different path.
I like closure. Whether I agree or disagree with the person I feel that it's just plain decent to say something to wrap things up! What would it hurt to say, "I've enjoyed talking to you but I don't feel we have enough in common to continue. I wish you the best?" Or something. Or ANYTHING!
I have to remember, though, that many fish have very small brains. They can't focus very long and are unable to function on a level much higher than those little minnows I watched so long ago. I guess I need to lower my expectations.
One other thing Dad taught me, however. Fishing takes patience and it takes diligence. And if you've got the essential tenacity you'll eventually end up with a primo catch! I still believe that the best one is out there somewhere and I plan on keeping my line wet and my net handy!
Until next time...
Love,
Angie
